but what if i'm a mermaid
© 1995 Devon Koren

i must have been dreaming again, lost in this sea of ebony and black. of course, black is just exactly the same as ebony, with little or no difference, except for an extra e, so it really doesn't matter, at least not yet. it was exactly four months ago i was thinking this exact same phrase, you know, that post dejavu before you realize that all of your hair fell out last week? anyway i think i must have been eating ice cream in the beginning, because in the beginning there was ice cream, and a big gargantuan map with fragmented symbols, a whole bunch of yarn, and i think god was probably there too, maybe. but that's another story. i was dreaming and exploring the nature of that which constructed this dream in my head, an illusion of grandeur and a delicious morsel of a charred heart. yummy. like christmas. have you ever noticed how simply divine those little red lights taste, with that crunchy glass and tangy shock? well anyway, maybe you've never chewed on extension chords, but i have, because i am a cat, after all. so anyway i was dreaming just then, just now, when i turned around on these bubbles beneath my bootheels and saw the most beautiful walrus in the entire universe. he looked at me for a long while, in that certain way that only a walrus can successfully conquer, and i looked at him, with my tongue perhaps, but i was looking. shoplifting actually, but don't tell anyone. because in the end i was doing it for him anyway. but that's also another story. and if i were to stitch these stories together i could write a probably book. anyway. i was dreaming of tossing a salad of crisp and juicy syllables when i saw the walrus, and he saw me, not for what the lipstick lied and told everyone i was, but for what my shadow defined me as. and he touched me with his flippers like the fourth of july and i think my fear all ran away outside via the fire escape. i know one day the sky will fall. i was looking for my doggie when a piece of it fell down and hit me in the head so now i have this huge gaping hole in the back of my skull where my brain sloshes out from time to time, so i always have to wear a hat, because once i didn't and i lost all of my capital letters. but that's another story. i was building a treehouse when i fell in love with the walrus, who was always there even if i didn't realize it before, because i am the kinda girl who is usually remaining quite oblivious to the obvious. so flipper in flipper we walked out to pick seashells from the seashore three times fast, and then he taught me what kind of suit was proper to wear if i really really really wanted to be a mermaid, and of course you know what my answer is. and in the end they all lived ever after happily. end the.